Dating people from the Jewish community – dos and don’ts

Knowing where to start in the dating world can sometimes be difficult. Throw in some cultural differences and you may feel like you’re on the back foot. Don’t worry. You can avoid the potentially embarrassing side effects of dating within your tribe with some tried and tested advice.


  • Be interesting. Make an effort to read up on current events and be savvy about what’s going on in the world so that starting a conversation isn’t too difficult.
  • Keep an open mind and be friendly. Even if you don’t think your date is your cup of tea – or if you’re not immediately attracted by them – be friendly and interested in them.
  • Be curious. Find out about your date’s upbringing, their traditions and their family. This is no different to any new relationship but there’s a real focus on family and togetherness in the Jewish community.
  • Make a good first impression by paying attention to the way that you look and dress. It shows courtesy and good manners.
  • Be sensitive about money issues. If you’re splitting the bill, make sure you go somewhere affordable for both of you.
  • Listen. They’ve not asked you out on a date to hear monologues about your favourite topics. Need help with your listening skills? (links to eBook)
  • Be on time. Nobody likes waiting.


  • Treat your date badly. The Jewish community is very connected. News will travel… and spoil your prospects for another time.
  • Lie about how religious you are or pretend to be more spiritual. This isn’t the foundation for a proper relationship and it’ll be tedious trying to maintain the façade.
  • Prejudge how the date will be. Have realistic expectations and make sure you show respect to your date – it won’t necessarily follow the same pattern as dates you’ve been used to.
  • Take your date somewhere that will make them feel uncomfortable or ill at ease. Until you know what their interests are, you need to stay on territory that’s familiar to them which won’t be threatening in any way.
  • Gossip about anyone. It’s unattractive and can be very awkward.
  • Keep your phone switched on and in reach. There’s nothing more irritating than a date constantly fiddling with his/her phone. If you need to work, stay in and work. Don’t date and work at the same time – it doesn’t work!
  • Talk about your ex or previous relationships straight away. Your date does not need to know that you don’t like your ex or – even worse – that you are still in love with them!
  • Play games. There are no rules. There is no secret. Two people who like each other should see each other again. It doesn’t matter who asks. It doesn’t matter when. What matters is treating each other nicely and giving each other a chance.

If success is eluding you, why not try a different approach? We can help by matching you up with like-minded people and we’ve got lots of happy endings to tell you about.