Looking for your Jewish soulmate? Are you too picky?

You have been looking for your Jewish soulmate for ages? Consulting dating sites has become your nightly entertainment of choice? Your friends have introduced you to all their single acquaintances?  Though you have met several suitable candidates, people your friends liked, your parents liked and maybe even you liked, you still haven’t found THE one: the soulmate you dream of sharing your daily joys and sorrows with, of growing old with and of cherishing for the rest of your life.

In your opinion, there was something wrong with all the “very appropriate” candidates you met, no matter how highly your friends or family regarded them.  Sometimes it was something big: not good-looking enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, too old, too young … Sometimes it was something smaller but nevertheless very annoying: their laughter, the way they ate, the way they dressed, the type of music they listened to …

Now, after so many unsuccessful attempts, it may be time to wonder a little about yourself. Are you- maybe – too picky?  Of course, what you are looking for is not a short-term companion but a real soulmate, one that you will spend your life with.  And nobody wants to compromise on that one.  Finding the perfect person is a must.  But does the perfect person exist? Are you, yourself, anybody’s idea of perfection?

In reality, chances are you do have a few shortcomings.  But they don’t keep people around you from loving you, because they accept you for who you are, the good and less good. And come to think of it, the people you love – friends or family members – are not all perfect either. And that does not keep you from wanting to be part of their lives.

So why not think of your soulmate the same way? Instead of looking for the perfect person, who probably does not exist, why don’t you start opening up to the real people you meet, and consider their qualities and shortcomings in light of what you want but also of what you have to offer to them, keeping in mind that people change in the course of a lifetime and that, if you are going to share your life with someone, you both will go through many changes. Beauty will fade, character will grow, little things will come and go…

Perfection is a dream. Pursuing it is a denial of reality and can lead to frustration. So if you really want to find your Jewish soulmate, maybe it is time to stop being too picky, to open your eyes and your heart, and to give yourself a real chance.