We all understand the importance that making love has in a Jewish marriage. The Jewish faith believes that a man and wife making love is one of the greatest mitzvahs. In fact, it is so important that the quality and quantity of sex that a husband is required to provide to his wife is specified in the Talmud. Herman Wouk, in his book, This is My God, The Jewish Way of Life, says “Judaism regards sex as the cord that secures the union of two lovers for life: for shared strength, pleasure, and ease, and for the rearing of children.” It is necessary to keep in mind, however, that sex and relationships are intimately connected and that keeping sex interesting goes a long way towards helping to enhance your relationship with your spouse.
Couples are encouraged to make love on Shabbat, as the intimacy between a husband and wife is considered a holy act. It is also a time when the stress and pressures of the week can be put aside and you can truly relax with one another. But this does not mean that the other days of the week are not good too! Consider coming home for lunch one day and making love while the kids are at school and you have a quiet house to yourselves.
Another way to keep the spark lit is to read erotic poetry to one another. One of the most sensual love poems is the Song of Songs in the Bible. “Kiss me with the kisses of your mouth, for your love is sweeter than wine. The scent of your oils is lovely, your name is like the finest fragrance spread over me.” (Song of Songs, 1:2-3). Recite some passages from this or another poem to express your love and devotion to your spouse, which can bring your love making to new heights.
One of the important mitzvahs in a Jewish marriage, and one of three rights that a Jewish wife is entitled to in addition to food and shelter, is that the husband satisfy his wife sexually. A husband should ask his wife what she likes. If there is a certain touch she prefers she should let him know that, whether in words or by guiding his hand in a way that she finds pleasurable.
Half of making love is in being attuned to your partner’s needs and desires so that you bring them pleasure while at the same time solidifying the bond of love between you. This can strengthen your marriage for years to come.