Our Global Matchmaker Sarah Ryan interviewed our newest New York client representative, Natalie Steinberg, about what it’s like on the dating scene in Manhattan, how difficult it is to meet someone serious and why matchmaking builds momentum to an already difficult task; finding the one.
So what is it really like out there on the NYC dating scene? “Tough and stressful. You go out with people from work, always after work and it’s really hard to break away from the groups you have created. It’s hard to meet someone organically so that’s why singles resort to dating apps. Social media and online dating open up the pool of possibilities but seem to be closing the real connections we might be able create”.
Why do you think that is? “There are so many options. People think the grass is always greener, they are spoilt for choice because of the accessibility to singles. This doesn’t differ in Jewish community in New York either because it is so large and there is such a strong presence. I grew up in Chicago and was one of only three or four Jewish kids at school so when you enter the New York City dating scene you can see how vast it is and the many ways you can meet singles. Infact, probably too many”.
So why would someone in the NYC community chose a Jewish Matchmaker? “There are a number of factors inclusive of the fact that those who opt in for a matchmaker are obviously seriously looking for someone. The fact that they have shared with a third party what they are looking for in a match means they are open-minded and probably realistic in their expectations about how difficult it is out there. As a single person, you know that when you meet someone through a matchmaker they have had to jump through a few hoops to get there and it would seem they know what they want or, it could be the case, that they think they know what they want and it might just take a professional matchmaker to help them realise it. A matchmaker is able to show you exactly what is out there on the dating scene in those seriously looking, it’s not just box ticking exercise and hoping for the best”.
What are the challenges of dating other Jews in NYC? “The pressure of trying to find someone who is ‘Jewish enough’ or perhaps ‘not too Jew’, whichever works best for you so you can bring home to mom is quite tough. Judaism is always brought up on the very first date and it adds pressure, so much so, it can come before even trying to realise if there is any chemistry. The faith seems to come up indirectly by referring to certain Jewish holidays and this is such a common occurrence, it feels like a waiting game”.
So what about the second date? How often are we seeing those? “A second date is a rarity in New York which is really quite sad. Singles often use may excuses including work pressures being one. This could be because they have the notion that the grass is greener somewhere else due to the many options out there. It could be that the first date was a time filler as New Yorkers always want to seem so so busy and so perhaps they weren’t seriously looking in the first place or it could be they have fear of missing out on the rest of the singles scene. Dating can also be a way to wind down after work with someone new out of sheer convenience but the persons on the date might not be relationship-minded. Hiring a matchmaker means that the hard-part is done for you by finding someone committed to finding someone to commit to”.
So that’s the New York dating scene for the Jewish community in a nutshell. There are lots of eligible singles out there in a big city with bright lights but meeting your match, someone who is just as marriage-minded as you are, is a very tough task. To enquire about personal matchmaking with Simantov International apply here.