You are looking for your soulmate and, if you are reading this on our site, chances are that you would like him or her to be Jewish.
Depending on your religious orientation and the community you belong to, finding a Jewish mate might be a question of social survival or simply a question of preference. In either case, there are several reasons why we think you are right in wanting to marry a fellow Jew.
First, several studies have shown that, statistically, marriages have a better chance of being long-lasting if the partners have the same religion. This makes sense, of course, as having the same religion means you will have:
1 – the same beliefs: having the same religion means that the partners will share fundamental beliefs and values and disagreements will thus likely be fewer or not as deep. This is true particularly in cases where religion is a defining element of who you are – Orthodox Jews, for example.
2- the same culture: having the same culture goes far beyond the purely religious aspects of one’s life. Having the same culture means that you will celebrate the same holidays, of course, but also that you will be likely to enjoy the same type of food (bagels and lox?), to have read similar books, to view gender roles in the same way, to have similar childhood memories, etc.
3 – the same type of family dynamics: family is important for people of all religions. For Jews, family is very important. Jews revere their ancestors (we observe their Yahrzeit, we give our children the names of deceased family members, etc.) Jewish males are very attached to their mothers and Jewish mothers like to be very present in their children’s lives. Jews also have a sense of extended family which is unknown to other groups. No matter how many of them they are or where they hail from, the cousins of our cousins are always welcome in our homes. This might be difficult for a non-Jewish partner to understand and to accept.
Besides their desire to foster family harmony, many Jews also feel a responsibility towards the Jewish community to do their part in assuring that Judaism will continue to thrive and grow. Today Jews all over the world are concerned about the possible disappearance of the Jewish people and culture through assimilation and they view intermarriage as a threat. For them, marrying a Jew is a way of reaffirming their attachment to their people and to G-d and is the only option.
In all cases, “when a Jew marries another Jew, their families rejoice, the entire community rejoices, and G-d rejoices”, says our good friend, the painter Sonja Levy, who illustrated this uplifting thought in a beautiful painting.
And that is a very good reason why it is so nice when Jews marry other Jews!