You may be in a position where you have come to a matchmaker to think about dating again – perhaps after a major love, significant breakup or even divorce. Chances are if you are in the partnering process again you will have been through heartbreak or a breakup and so it’s always a great idea to reflect on the lessons we have learnt about the world around us and most importantly, about ourselves. After a breakup it can take our mind, body and soul quite some time to digest and interpret what we have been going through and it can seem somewhat all consuming. When the dust begins to settle we enter a period of reflection which reminds us a little of who we were before our previous relationship and helps us pave a road to heartbreak recovery in many positive ways. Whilst it may not feel like we can handle this part of the process in life – we are only ever given tests which continue to give us clarity on who we are and the life we truly wish to lead. Here are a few benefits of a broken heart:
We Build Resilience. Heartbreak is an undeniable feeling of physical pain which is the way the body communicates and responds to what you are enduring emotionally, it literally feels like a heart wrench. This whirlwind of highs and lows experienced as we begin to mend, which lead to acceptance of the new path, can build the most exceptional resilience; and resilience is a really wonderful thing.
We Find Courage To Leave Our Comfort Zones. Breakups help instil a new found bravery. Heartbreak is a time in ones life that gives a sense of courage through experiencing the cycle of grief – particularly in the anger stage. You can feel like everything you know in your life has been turned upside down and there is nothing left to lose at this stage other than grabbing the bull by the horns and heading out of your comfort zone. Courage and bravery – definite benefits which stem from a broken heart.
We’re Alone But Never Lonely. When you go through a breakup you really gain a strong oversight into who your closest friends and family members are – it’s a beautiful way to remind you of your nearest and dearest and the deep level of care they give in the toughest of times. Being surrounded by such love and care fills you with gratitude. Gratitude is the most grounding of feelings and brings us back to the core of what really matters most to us.
Exploration Of Interests. When you part ways you naturally begin to re-explore your own interests and hobbies. Your self-awareness increases as you reflect on who you are, what you bring to the table in a relationship and most importantly what makes you you. You seemingly gain more time as the energy which you gave to someone else throughout your relationship you are now able to give back to yourself and invest in your own interests.
We Find Silver Linings And Lessons Learnt. Hindsight can be the most beautiful thing post-breakup and when the dust begins to settle you may realise a few things about yourself and about your previous partner that you may not have seen when blindsided by love. Love is blind, it really is, and so when a couple part ways there is a period of reflection where you can almost feel like you’re analysing what you want, what is right for you and things you may or may not do differently when building the foundations for forever with someone new in the future. The learnings we take away from a breakup can be really quite beautiful despite the painful road we have to go down to get to this point.
It’s A Wake Up Call. Chances are if you weren’t expecting the breakup to occur it will be one of the biggest wake up calls that you have had in a long time. A breakup is a loss of love, a partnership and shared care for another. It may make you come crashing back down to earth and remind you of how short life is. However painful it may seem, and whatever wave of the heartbreak you may be experiencing, you must know that whatever happiness you had with your previous partner it is just a drop in the ocean of happiness you are about to experience. When you wake up from the pain of heartbreak we can assure you that you will begin to plan and start to cultivate a list of things that you want for your new path in life – flying solo.
We Feel Really Present. Goodness, we know and you do too that when you go through a breakup you really feel everything – the ups, the downs the mini triumphs and the major ones. Feeling hurt and finding a way to accept what you are going through is a battle but yet your eyes can feel really open to what is happening. It can be one of those bitter sweet times in life where you realise we have to love ourselves first and foremost. Leo Christopher says this:
“Love yourself first and then learn how to spill a little bit of that love over into someone else”
When the focus on pain of a broken heart begins to shift, so do the negative feelings and so we become more positive, more mindful, more reflective, more grateful and a little more capable of taking on what life throws at us.
