Although Jewish matchmaking is an ancient tradition that was instrumental in preserving Jewish heritage during times when its existence was threatened, it has an important place in today’s world as well. Gone are the days of a shadchan in every community. If you happen to live in a small town in the middle of nowhere (or even in a large city), finding other Jewish singles is not necessarily easy. And finding the right Jewish man or woman for you is even more difficult.
A modern Jewish matchmaker can be quite different in some ways from the traditional shadchan, which placed greater emphasis on religious and demographic values such as age and profession. Many Jews today are less observant (or sometimes not at all), but wish to preserve their Jewish culture and traditions, and finding a Jewish partner is important, even if they do not go to synagogue or keep kosher.
For a modern Jewish matchmaker, their goal is to bring together Jewish singles who are likely to have similar values upon which they can build a relationship hat will have a strong foundation. Good couples who become lifelong partners have been shown to be those who are able to understand, empathize with and ultimately share a compatible nature with each other, rather than simply sharing the same religious traditions. A modern Jewish matchmaker evaluates these qualities in each person before arranging a match.
Making a good match doesn’t just mean having a degree of understanding of what your partner’s likes and dislikes are, however (as important as these minutiae can be in both beginning a relationship and showing you’re listening to your partner’s). Finding a good match involves many factors that you may not take into consideration at first, but which can make or break your relationship. How do you envision raising your children? Do you have a problem with your husband or wife being more educated or making more money than you do? Perhaps your partner has a different cultural practice than you or a different way of viewing or practicing Judaism. Perhaps they’re not Jewish at all. A modern Jewish matchmaker learns what factors are most important to their clients so they can accurately match the right Jewish man with the right Jewish woman, which paves the way for a long, stable, and loving marriage.
