Creating a spark is about emotion. Just being nice or pleasant or polite or romantic is not enough to cause your date to be thinking about you long after it finishes.


And the answer isn’t something far-fetched and unachievable. You don’t have to have a six-pack or have a wad of cash to spend on them. You have to be capable of making them feel a whole range of emotions!


This includes positive AND negative emotions. You want to keep them on their toes. Be unexpected. Be spontaneous. Take them on an emotional rollercoaster to keep them engaged and always wanting more.


If you think about a rollercoaster, it doesn’t just go up all the time and finish there. That would be boring. It takes twists, turns, flips, loops, and HUGE drops to keep you thrilled. If there’s no drama or tension or jealousy or anger, then usually something is lacking.


Now not everybody is the same. A small percentage of people like to play it safe. They enjoy nice and pleasant. But the vast majority of people crave something MORE. And if you don’t give them it, likely they’ll create it themselves. This is why you’ve probably had a partner that seemed to get annoyed or upset over NOTHING. That’s because they’re filling this void themselves because they’re BORED.


How to take your partner on an emotional rollercoaster?


  • Be Playful. Don’t hold back from teasing them, or making fun of them at times- as long as you don’t take this too far and venture into plain mean. We like people that don’t take themselves too seriously and can laugh at us before we ourselves can see the funny side of a situation.


  • Be Surprising. Take them on a date without any planning or scheduling. Surprise them with a gift, or something unexpected. This will surely keep them on their toes, and thinking about you wayyyyy after you’ve left.


  • Be Risky. You must be careful with this next one because you don’t want to be rude or seem completely uninterested in your partner. But, it can be a good thing to look at other men or women from time to time, with interest or lust. This creates jealousy and jealousy is healthy for a relationship as it confirms their feelings for you, and yours for them.


  • Be Confrontational. Nobody likes a partner that simply agrees with them all the time. This gets really dull and makes you seem very passive. Disagree with them if you want to, and don’t back down when they challenge you about it.


  • Be Unpredictable. Now you don’t necessarily want to be playing mind games with your date, but if you’re replying to text messages immediately, and waiting by the phone, it becomes obvious how keen you are, and/or how little else you have to do. Mix up your response times to keep them eagerly waiting for your response


  • Be Deep. You don’t want to get too intense with your date at the early stages, but discussing topics like your biggest fears, wildest dreams and desires helps build an emotional connection and brings them closer to you.


  • Be Attentive. Listen to them. Look at them like they’re the only person in the room. Make them feel special and unique, and like they’re all you’re thinking about- even if it is only for right now.


Get into the habit of providing massively different emotional experiences for your partner, and you’ll see the difference for yourself!