Is Matchmaking a good response to “Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse”?

Is the Millenium generation doomed? Are all the singles currently struggling to find love condemned to a life of endless back-to-back hookups or resigned loneliness? Are dating sites doing away with romance and the possibility of finding long-term partners?

A few weeks ago, the American magazine Vanity Fair published an article which made the buzz on and off the Internet and sent throngs of singles spiraling into despair mode.

The article, entitled “Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse”, is based on interviews of young singles, all users of dating websites or apps like Tinder. Its main point are that these websites are mostly used by men for gaining access to free sex in the form of successive and frequent hookups and that women deemed a bit more “romantic” – are often left dissatisfied if not utterly humiliated by these meaningless encounters. The ease with which these apps can be used and the vast number of subscribers give everyone the (wrong) idea that the supply of eligible candidates is unlimited and instantly accessible, and that being in “high demand” is the name of the game. People become “hot commodities” – or not and any idea of romance or real intimacy must be abandoned.

Reading the article, one cannot help being appalled by the dire hopelessness of the situation: if this is an accurate description of today’s dating scene, we may as well all give up our hopes of ever finding love. But should we? Definitely not!

The first reason for not capitulating in the face of this type of “revelation” is technical: a few interviews do not make for reliable statistics and it is probably safe to assume that the people interviewed for the article are not representative of the average users of these sites.

But even if they were, things wouldn’t be as bad as they seem. Because today’s singles have several “tools” at their disposal, and they can all be used effectively. In order to do so, the first step is to clearly identify goals: not everyone wants to engage in a long-term relationship; a lot of people are simply looking to have a good time with someone they won’t ever need to see again. Sites and apps like Tinder, which are free and encourage selection of partners based on looks, are very attractive to those people because they require no commitment: no time, no thought and no money. As long as you know what to expect, there is no problem with using these

If, however, you are looking for a more serious relationship, you’ll need the assurance that the people you’re going to meet are of similar mindset, as committed as you are and as willing to engage effort into the process. That, of course, precludes picking potential partners out of a picture book or meeting someone different every night in the hope that quantity will eventually trump quality.

And that is why these sites won’t work for you. A matchmaker is more likely to be what you need. Because, contrary to most websites and apps, matchmakers only work for people who want a long term-relationship. The effort and monetary commitment they require from their clients are never worth it for those who just want a short fling.

And so it is not the dawn of the dating apocalypse. If you know what you want and what you want is love, go to the right place: contact us.

Photograph by Justin Bishop